I ran an anonymous survey recently where I invited the wives of the world to talk to me about their marriage. I intentionally asked a few kinds of questions:

    1. Tell me about something you wish your husband knew.
    1. What do you wish your hubby would do differently regarding family?
    1. If you could change one thing regarding your marriage, what would it be?
    1. What do you wish your husband would do differently in regards to your sex life?
  1. What is your favorite thing about your husband or marriage?

The responses were overwhelmingly touching and surprising. There was very little complaining and many women thanked me for the exercise, several going so far as to say it inspired her to show more gratitude and compassion toward her husband.

Many wives were even so comfortable as to leave their names, so I’ve attributed them where applicable. In total, 129 women took the survey so I’ve combed through all the responses to bring you the ones that I thought were most revealing. Some responses have been edited for length or clarity.

Here’s what the wives wish husbands knew:

How sexy it is that he’s the best father I’ve ever known. And how much I appreciate all of his hard work and everything he does for our family. Also how he makes me feel when he’s being affectionate and when he takes the extra effort to spend time with each other.


How truly amazing he really is. He works long hours so often, and I know sometimes it doesn’t seem like he’s appreciated, but he is more appreciated than he will ever know.


How much I adore him!


I need his help when he comes home. I need to step away and feel like a normal person. I need uninterrupted time for myself. Hell, I just need to do something for me.


I need him to be in charge of our household.


Hurtful words said in anger don’t go away just because you said the word sorry. They continue to play in my mind over and over again.


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I wish he knew how important it is for me to hear that he loves me, thinks I am beautiful and that he still wants me. Those words meant a lot to me before we married and even though he works hard now and is a great husband, I still long to hear those words whispered in my ear. Sometimes I wonder if he just does those things out of a sense of duty. Sometimes I need to be reminded that he is still deeply in love with me just for ME!


If he only knew how important it is for me to have eye contact when I talk to him about something important.


I wish he knew that it doesn’t always just come to me to know what he wants. If he could me more open regularly as to what he likes me to do for him it would make us both happier.


How much I truly need him.


He wows me everyday. He takes care of everyone, me, the children, friends, even strangers.


I wish he knew how much I appreciate it when he watches the kids so I can have a break alone. It makes me feel human again and then I can reboot myself and have energy for sexy time later!!


I wish he knew how much i mean it when i say he is my everything, it’s not just a trendy phrase… I really truly mean it


I wish he knew that nothing ever goes unnoticed or unappreciated. I am human and sometimes I forget to say “thank you” but I am beyond thankful for everything he does for me.


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No matter how good or bad his day has gone, I am still proud to be his, will always rather be with him than without him. No matter where that takes us in life.


How much I truly appreciate everything he does for everyone in our family. Even though I get frustrated when he picks helping other people over spending time together, his generosity is one thing I love about him.


I wish he knew that when I look at him, I still see that 23-year-old that walked through the door the night I first met him. I love thinking about those first moments when we both instantly knew something very special was about to happen between us because we were so right!


I wish he knew how special he makes me feel when he speaks great of me to his friends and family, kisses me in public, reaches for my hand when out with his friends, and all the ‘little things’ he does that make me feel like the most important thing in his life at all times.


Not to be stressed about things! I don’t care if there are luxuries he can’t afford to get for me, or if something has to wait until the end of the month. He’s a good provider, even when little things can’t happen.


How much I respect that he works so hard to provide for us, but it gets very lonely when he works past midnight every night. I miss him…


He is perfect for me and he doesn’t have to try so hard to make things perfect. I love him just the way he is.


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That I really do think he is incredible. He handles so much & does it so well. He loves us so deeply & it shows through his daily actions. That I respect him, am in awe of him & look up to him.


I wish he knew how highly we think of him in our home. Our children and I love him so much and wish he could be home all the time.


I don’t need fancy dates, expensive things or anything else to be happy. I just need him.


He doesn’t have to fix everything. Sometimes I just need him to listen.


My favorite thing about our marriage is that my husband and I have remained best friends for 7 years now. We are always making each other laugh, but can also talk about anything from our scariest experiences in life to our future goals. We’re always there for each other no matter what.


When I ask for affection, sometimes he gets embarrassed and turns a romantic moment into an uncomfortable one by being silly or making it a joke. I may like physical intimacy more and it hurts when he turns it into a joke.

I recently invited the wives of the world to complete an anonymous survey telling me what they wish their husbands knew and what they REALLY thought about marriage.  34 Touching Things Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew - The Art of Better

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Have confidence! I like it when my hubby knows what he wants, and then goes for it. I get tired of him wanting me to take the lead on everything and keeps asking off I’m OK. Just do me already damn it!


When I come to you because something makes me unhappy, I’m not looking to point out how horrible you are. I’m saying this affects me let’s come up with a solution that works for both of us.


I love how it doesn’t matter how his day went, he always comes home and only sees a tunnel towards me and plants a big kiss on my lips and grabs softly some body part that makes me giggle.


In bed, give me hints or let me know when I’m doing something right that pleases you. Be spontaneous with me.


Brilliant marriage advice

There were two gems of advice in particular that the wives left that I just had to share. Although they weren’t responses to specific questions, everyone can benefit from this wisdom:

We have been married for 31 years. Over that time I have found that you need to listen. Agree to disagree and leave it alone. Don’t try to change the one you love to meet your needs. Discuss and adjust as needed.


Guys out there, you may not be the most manly men all the time, or the most considerate; but there is one thing you can do right… kiss her. Kiss your wife like you did that first time you stole a kiss because you were so infatuated with her you couldn’t wait another second. Kiss her like you’ve won the lottery. Kiss her like the day you vowed she was the one for you and you were going to always love her, protect her and take care of her. You may not be able to save her from a bear attacking, or a car accident, or the pile of debt you are drowning in, but you can always kiss her like you mean it and love her fiercely til the end. That’s truly a man.


Wow. To everyone who took the survey: thank you. I was moved to tears many times. I deeply appreciate your honesty and candor.

So, tell me ladies… what are some of the things you wish your husband knew? What stops you from telling him?